Here is that facebook thing that has been floating around. I find it amazing. I'm so thrilled to see the honesty and compassion that comes through in the writing and sharing of these. Here's my version, for internet posterity.
1. I find number 1 to be the hardest one to fill out.
2. I love dancing, specifically alone, amongst people (you know what I mean). It makes me feel free and joyful.
3. I have a touchy relationship with cars. When I was 15, I was in a car that flipped while going 100 mph and was crushed (windows smashed, body crumbled). All 4 of us were able to walk away and heal within the month. I have been in an abnormally high number of car accidents since then, most my own fault. I've been in a car while it was being totaled 4 times. 2 of those times were in the same car. Goodbye forever, LYS.
4. I am sometimes a bit careless with my life. In college, my housemate and I very unwisely used our oven to heat the house during a winter power outage; as we were passing out from the carbon monoxide, our friend's girlfriend came home, shook us awake and aired out the house. The next day, I feel asleep with a candle burning in the bathroom. Same girlfriend came home at 3am to find the cabinet on fire. She put it out. Amazingly, she never called me out for being a fool. Thank you, Sarah.
5. Every night when I was little, my older brother would finish eating dinner and then proceed to make me laugh so hard that my belly hurt, my cheeks became sore, tears streamed down my face, and I fell off my chair. I often ran away begging for mercy. It was amazing.
6. If he really caught me off guard, I was spit something out/choke gently. Then my father would say something like "Don't make your sister laugh when she's eating! Actually, don't make anyone laugh when they're eating, even if they're not your relative!" This would make us laugh hysterically. We collected these sayings and labeled them "Daddyisms".
7. My mother is the wisest person I know. She's my hero.
8. I wish the rest of my family wasn't thousands of miles away. I have a lot of longing for them, and longing to know them (see #16). When we do get to see each other, I am always so amazed by how much love I feel for them. I also dig how similar we are, in looks, thoughts, dancing style. I wish my grandparents had stayed alive longer and had not been so far away.
9. The guiding rule of my life is a belief in serendipity. I owe most things to being in the right place, having the right conversations, and just saying yes to things that are not in the plan. Actually, I never really have a plan. Occasionally this creates some confusion.
10. Second guiding rule: following my instincts. Problems occur when I stop.
11. I love putting myself in situations where there are many unknowns and a variety of decisions that could be made, and then seeing what I do. When I was a kid, I loved those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. I have learned the most about myself this way.
12. I have always been a big reader. For me, it cultivates compassion, transcends the mundane, brings me into a new world, and is delightful. Tolstoy is the greatest. The section of War and Peace where Andrei is dying and Pierre is imprisoned and they are so open and awash in realizations about life and the human condition made my heart race, my breath go shallow and my face flush; I knew I was reading something that would change my understanding of the world, forever. The word that always comes to mind during such reading experiences is "delicious". Sublimely delicious.
13. I love Russian people.
14. Travel does many of the same things as reading for me. I love being an outsider. I love the heightened clarity, the generosity, the unknown, the seeing patterns and guessing meaning. I love being behind a screen, and being able to analyze and ask questions from there. Photography and journalism suit me well here.
15. I am a hypochondriac. I've made a truly embarrassing number of late night trips to the emergency room. I have sincerely believed that a) my eyeball was unraveling, b) I had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and c) my viscera was turning to stone. None of these things turned out to be true.
16. I really love feeling desire and longing, for experiences, feelings, family, men, etc. I will often put off getting what I want in order to stay there.
17. I also love nostalgia. I'm sometimes nostalgic for my desire.
18. I'm excessively adaptable. I fall into phases where it is very hard for me to know what is actually good for me. I need to remember, as Russell Simmons suggests, to "Do You!"
19. For about 12 years, I played the violin quite seriously, enough so that I had a music stand in my bedroom, would often play till I was drenched in sweat, and would dream about the music. It always amazed me that my fingers would move seemingly of their own accord, before my conscious mind could tell them what to do. I regret stopping, but hope I can pick it up again one day.
20. I love writing things between 10pm and 2am. In fact, I am writing this between 10pm and 2am.
21. I hate when people shield themselves from their true emotions, IE acting cool when they're feeling vulnerable, acting angry when they're feeling guilty. I get that some of these things are necessary protective measures. It still bugs me.
22. That said, I often abide by the maxim "fake it until you make it."
23. I have a few beliefs that I know some people think are crazy. I believe in real astrology. I believe in the power of your mind to stop things like allergies. I believe in a consciousness larger that the individual.
23. I'm quite a smiley person. Actually, I really used to be, but haven't checked that in a while. I used to be the kind of person who smiled all the time, at strangers too. I guess now that I think about it, I don't really do that anymore. Probably good.
25. I am very affected by place. Once I cross into the boundaries, like state and country lines, I feel tangibly different. The places that evoke that most for me are North Carolina and India.
